all-of-me


Crazy

2002-01-15 * 12:54 p.m.

The older I get, the less I like High Drama. But when life dishes you up heaping servings of dramatic material, what are you supposed to do with it? Write about it, I suppose...

I decided to propose to my girlfriend (*happiness*) and I ended up telling my good friend/first love (we'll call him K), with whom I had a whirlwind fling last summer - before getting involved with her, mind you - about my plan. Apparently he was ambivalent about it - happy for me, sad for himself, and we ended up having a conversation that left him hurt and me angry and definitely not in the right frame of mind to videotape my proposal. So I told her about the conversation, because we have a very open and honest relationship, and she naturally felt icky about it, despite the fact that she ends up getting the girl (me). I didn't want to ruin the surprise, but it was impossible to explain why K and I had such a high-stakes conversation without any context. So I blew it. I told her. So much for the surprise. She kindly intimated that she's getting older and forgetful so that I could go ahead with the plan anyway.

I'm only 33. (Well, 32, but my birthday is this month.) I've been married twice, divorced twice. Am I crazy to want to do it again?

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