2002-01-22 * 2:36 p.m.
I decided to hold off on the proposal. I realized the only reason I had sped up the process was that I (mistakenly) read cues from her which said, "Propose now!" The down side is that there was a lot of emotional turmoil for nothing. The up side is that after many conversations, we realize that we are in the same place. Wanting to spend the rest of our lives together, wanting to propose/be proposed to, imagining that we will be together forever...but not wanting it to feel rushed, wanting to take our time and savor all the steps in a healthy relationship that we (hopefully) will never get to experience again. I've been impulsive enough in the past to last me the rest of my life. She's not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. We move into the new house in less than two weeks. That is enough of a change to rock our world for a while, I think.
I will enjoy the ride. And it's still one hell of a ride, I must say.