all-of-me


The Doctor Is In

Jun. 17, 2002 * 1:50 p.m.

There is nothing like a friend. A true friend. A loyal friend. A friend who will always be there when you need her. No matter what.

I am that friend.

All of my exes are still my friends. Dear friends. Well, okay, there's one exception. But that's another story. My exes include men and women. Mostly men. Even though I consider myself a lesbian. Dyke. Queer. You get the idea.

So, once upon a time I had a Mormonesque relationship with a guy, and his girl. Interestingly, no (physical) involvement with the girl, who's straight. But we were like peas in a pod. And even though (or perhaps because) he was a raging addict at the time, he and I had an uncanny connection, particularly in the Freak and Communications departments. We are to this day very close, and he is drycleaned. (My personal version of dry - of alcohol - and clean - of drugs.)

A few months ago he broke up with his girlfriend. (Different from the one of yore.) A week and a half ago he found out she's engaged. I don't need to tell you why, a few days ago, he called in his I-need-a-friend-bad-and-right-now chip. Not one to shirk my duties as a friend, I made a plan to drive down and spend the night, with the permission of the little lady. Which was a very very very important step. The trust, I mean. Because you know, her trust was violently stomped on by The Whirlwind (her ex), as was mine, by my ex. (The one I'm not such good friends with. Despite the fact that *she* didn't trust *me*. HA.) So it meant even more than you might think. Especially considering that he and I have "a past." Trust. Mutual trust. God, it feels good.

So I went down and offered company and therapy. There is no underestimating the mere presence of a friend during these times. It strikes me every time; I don't know why I forget. I woke up very relaxed. Maybe from the satisfaction that I made a difference. (He didn't even dream about her, which was the first time since finding out.) Maybe from being away from home. (Which is not because home stresses me out - I've always loved sleepovers at friends' houses.) But I did miss her warm soft body next to mine.

The same day, my woman went down (with other friends) to visit a friend (at her cottage), who also broke up recently with her partner, to offer company and therapy. A friend in need.

The next morning I drove an hour to join her (and friends) in the cottage on the shore, and we all went out on the friend's new motor boat. And again, I felt completely relaxed.

And then we got in the car and it poured, the whole way back. Cats and dogs (and probably other small animals). I could barely see the car in front of me. And still...so relaxed.

She and I went to our friends who needed us. And even though we were less than an hour away from each other, we spent the night apart. And it made it that much sweeter to snuggle under the covers the next night, molding our bodies together. And to know that we have a loving, trusting relationship and are lucky enough not to need emergency visits from our friends. And to know that we were there when we were needed.

`...><((((>.`.><((((>`...><((((>`...><((((>.`...><((((>.`.><((((>`.

WHAT'S IN MY CD PLAYER RIGHT NOW:
Chris Isaak - "Forever Blue"
LATEST SWEET THING MY SWEET THANG DID FOR ME:
Trusted me enough to let me sleep the night at an ex-boyfriend's.
WHAT I'M WEARING TODAY:
Red lace boustier, leather pants, see-through top. Okay, not really, but it's more interesting than the truth.

yesterday ><((((> tomorrow